I was just thinking how much stress and anxiety we put on ourselves when we face an unknown situation. I love my parents, but there are times that they get way over the top. I am at an age where I don't believe theyve been able to "let go" and let me be an adult. I am going through a personal struggle and needing to find a solution to one of my problems and my father has taken it upon himself to "find a solution" and to the nth degree. My anxiety is driving with them to a family gathering and working myself up for 2 weeks knowing that we were going to carpool for over 2 hours and I was not going to hear the end of it.
I was even, much to my own personal disagreement, going to cancel going because I just didn't need to hear the lecture. See how much we build up? Or at least what I did to myself? ergh! All for nothing. blemishes, overeating and an upset stomach for a week and a half all for a 10 minute conversation and how did I do it? First, I believe in the power of prayer - just sat with my Lord for a few minutes and let him hear what I needed to get off my chest and just yelled with tears pouring out that I don't know any other way to handle this other than avoidence (which was not the answer and it would mean not being able to see the number 1 man in my life - my 2.5 y/o nephew and my brother+his wife) and I was truly upset with the way this situation was being handled. They arrived, I said my greetings-Hi how are ya how's life, whatcha been up to and so forth. 10 min into the ride I laid it on the table "this is how's it's been and this is what I am doing - any questions?" He heard me, had a question- discussion closed.
Good grief, that was it? I was ready for an altercation, I was ready, my gloves were on and what I realized was I was ready and built up a Huge issue into a minor two sentence...um thing! And we're done! That's it. How did I finalize things? for the next hour I sat there silently praising Jesus for covering the situation and asked for my next request - take the butterflies out of my stomach and suppress the acid rising.
I know you've been there also - just remember, even if you don't pray, sometimes we build those little bumps in life into huge mountains and our anxiety gets the better of us. Bless you!
'Chele
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
This verse caught my eye this morning - mind you, I am not a fantastic writer, but a deep ponderer, so don't expect C.S. Lewis..
"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:6
I think fondly of some of my parents friends; they have lived life deeply and well. A select few I have had conversations with I can recall never (yes never) shared a complaint or negative feeling about their day, life, issues or someone else. That, to me, is a true gift. Will there ever be a day that I wake up and I basque in the absolute goodness of what I simply have, appreciate what I have to look forward to and sing praises when I have a second to do so? I know I have frequent conversations with Jesus and thank him for his abundant love, but I slip - typical human, into the grumblings and complaints soon after. Conversations, full of grace or even just being thankful, don't necessarily have to occur with others, they can even be with oneself and of course in meditation and prayer. I need to practice grace with myself before I "go off" in conversations with someone else. Isn't that the best way to practice? Similar to loving others, be accepting and loving of oneself and it shines on everyone you come in contact with. Although I'll eat my words a little as I tend to love friends/family or others more than myself - but I'm working on it.
I love to cook and the idea of salt, herbs or spices wakes me up to what I can create. I think about how spicy or rich something smells and tastes when I add a pinch of something to a dish. Golly, how amazing that would be if we added and pinched to the recipes of our relationships. The salt and spices for me is the richness of God's Word- yep the Bible. I do my best to get into it as much as I can, read the history, lessons, thoughts and blessings that it's rich in. Thats my salt and light so when I am in conversations with friends, I hope I can be a simple example to them and listen, respond, appreciate and love abundantly. Recently, there are many issues in the world to discuss, so importantly - I need to respect, agree to disagree and again, listen. I am certainly not perfect, but I can "perfect" my conversation skills, add to my knowledge what is important, love and respect my friends and family and try to live daily what I am called to do - my example and conversations be filled with grace and, like salt, may I know how to speak with others, which includes appreciation, respect and to love them the best way I can.
Bless you my friend - 'chele
"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:6
I think fondly of some of my parents friends; they have lived life deeply and well. A select few I have had conversations with I can recall never (yes never) shared a complaint or negative feeling about their day, life, issues or someone else. That, to me, is a true gift. Will there ever be a day that I wake up and I basque in the absolute goodness of what I simply have, appreciate what I have to look forward to and sing praises when I have a second to do so? I know I have frequent conversations with Jesus and thank him for his abundant love, but I slip - typical human, into the grumblings and complaints soon after. Conversations, full of grace or even just being thankful, don't necessarily have to occur with others, they can even be with oneself and of course in meditation and prayer. I need to practice grace with myself before I "go off" in conversations with someone else. Isn't that the best way to practice? Similar to loving others, be accepting and loving of oneself and it shines on everyone you come in contact with. Although I'll eat my words a little as I tend to love friends/family or others more than myself - but I'm working on it.
I love to cook and the idea of salt, herbs or spices wakes me up to what I can create. I think about how spicy or rich something smells and tastes when I add a pinch of something to a dish. Golly, how amazing that would be if we added and pinched to the recipes of our relationships. The salt and spices for me is the richness of God's Word- yep the Bible. I do my best to get into it as much as I can, read the history, lessons, thoughts and blessings that it's rich in. Thats my salt and light so when I am in conversations with friends, I hope I can be a simple example to them and listen, respond, appreciate and love abundantly. Recently, there are many issues in the world to discuss, so importantly - I need to respect, agree to disagree and again, listen. I am certainly not perfect, but I can "perfect" my conversation skills, add to my knowledge what is important, love and respect my friends and family and try to live daily what I am called to do - my example and conversations be filled with grace and, like salt, may I know how to speak with others, which includes appreciation, respect and to love them the best way I can.
Bless you my friend - 'chele
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Reflections on Trusting God
I mentioned C.S. Lewis in my last blog and I laughed at myself; how interesting that I selected a quote from him today.
Reflection “I know the words ‘leave it to God’ can be misunderstood, but they must stay for the moment. The sense in which a Christian leaves it to God is that he puts all his trust in Christ: trusts that Christ will somehow share with him the perfect human obedience which He carried out from His birth to His crucifixion: that Christ will make the man more like Himself and, in a sense, make good his deficiencies. In Christian language, He will share His ‘sonship’ with us, will make us, like Himself, ‘Sons of God.’ And, in yet another sense, handing everything over to Christ does not, of course, mean that you stop trying. To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already. Not hoping to get to Heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you. I think all Christians would agree with me if I said that though Christianity seems at first to be all about morality, all about duties and rules and guilt and virtue, yet it leads you on, out of all that, into something beyond. One has a glimpse of a county where they do not talk of those things, except perhaps as a joke. Everyone there is filled full with what we should call goodness as a mirror is filled with light. But they do not call it goodness. They do not call it anything. They are not thinking of it. They are too busy looking at the Source from which it comes. But this is near the stage where the road passes over the rim of our world.” C S Lewis-Mere Christianity
Lewis puts so much into his words and I look back at his life before he made his commitment to be in a relationship with Jesus. He questioned; he denied Jesus for some time; he did not want to believe, but like many of us, desired to be a good person. Thank you Lord for the conversations he had with his colleagues - specifically, JR Tolkien. These conversations allow him to contemplate, ask and finally, make a decision that he too desired this relationship that so many people shared about - becoming a Christian is so much more, as he mentioned above, than just "following rules" but a relationship that, in my words, is so cool!
We all have moments, some more than others, to live our life as a "good person." I like to pay the toll for the person behind me, make sure an older lady can cross the street safely, let a person with less items than me go first in line at the checkout. While all is well and good, the line I italicized above is so much more than just doing good for others. For me, although my intentions are well and good, to be in a relationship with Jesus takes me further than just smiling at someone who is looking quite stressed. Whatever I can do physically, spiritually, financially, taking it to prayer first, I want and desire to go beyond just "adding points." That glimpse of Heaven to me is wanting to pray for that person who looks stressed, actually asking the woman how she's doing as I walk her across the street, pray for the person that is crossing the bridge and forward it continues. I can't imagine what Heaven is going to look like, but I can catch a very small glimpse of what Christ's face looks like as I do acts of service for the good of His kingdom and I know my face will glow when I enter those gates. I am so excited just to be in the presence of the Holy one, the One who causes my heart to flutter every time I think of doing more than just "good" in the world and not just because it will "get me into Heaven." Maybe, just maybe, that act of service I am able to do, not for myself and self gratification, but for that other person, may they see the joy and love I have for my Jesus and possibly - they'll see just a glimpse of Heaven also.
Bless you my friend, 'chele
Reflection “I know the words ‘leave it to God’ can be misunderstood, but they must stay for the moment. The sense in which a Christian leaves it to God is that he puts all his trust in Christ: trusts that Christ will somehow share with him the perfect human obedience which He carried out from His birth to His crucifixion: that Christ will make the man more like Himself and, in a sense, make good his deficiencies. In Christian language, He will share His ‘sonship’ with us, will make us, like Himself, ‘Sons of God.’ And, in yet another sense, handing everything over to Christ does not, of course, mean that you stop trying. To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already. Not hoping to get to Heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you. I think all Christians would agree with me if I said that though Christianity seems at first to be all about morality, all about duties and rules and guilt and virtue, yet it leads you on, out of all that, into something beyond. One has a glimpse of a county where they do not talk of those things, except perhaps as a joke. Everyone there is filled full with what we should call goodness as a mirror is filled with light. But they do not call it goodness. They do not call it anything. They are not thinking of it. They are too busy looking at the Source from which it comes. But this is near the stage where the road passes over the rim of our world.” C S Lewis-Mere Christianity
Lewis puts so much into his words and I look back at his life before he made his commitment to be in a relationship with Jesus. He questioned; he denied Jesus for some time; he did not want to believe, but like many of us, desired to be a good person. Thank you Lord for the conversations he had with his colleagues - specifically, JR Tolkien. These conversations allow him to contemplate, ask and finally, make a decision that he too desired this relationship that so many people shared about - becoming a Christian is so much more, as he mentioned above, than just "following rules" but a relationship that, in my words, is so cool!
We all have moments, some more than others, to live our life as a "good person." I like to pay the toll for the person behind me, make sure an older lady can cross the street safely, let a person with less items than me go first in line at the checkout. While all is well and good, the line I italicized above is so much more than just doing good for others. For me, although my intentions are well and good, to be in a relationship with Jesus takes me further than just smiling at someone who is looking quite stressed. Whatever I can do physically, spiritually, financially, taking it to prayer first, I want and desire to go beyond just "adding points." That glimpse of Heaven to me is wanting to pray for that person who looks stressed, actually asking the woman how she's doing as I walk her across the street, pray for the person that is crossing the bridge and forward it continues. I can't imagine what Heaven is going to look like, but I can catch a very small glimpse of what Christ's face looks like as I do acts of service for the good of His kingdom and I know my face will glow when I enter those gates. I am so excited just to be in the presence of the Holy one, the One who causes my heart to flutter every time I think of doing more than just "good" in the world and not just because it will "get me into Heaven." Maybe, just maybe, that act of service I am able to do, not for myself and self gratification, but for that other person, may they see the joy and love I have for my Jesus and possibly - they'll see just a glimpse of Heaven also.
Bless you my friend, 'chele
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